Why parents come to us...

PARENTS HAVE many reasons for consulting me for their gifted children. Here are some of those reasons as stated on the profile they are asked to complete prior to the consultation. As you will see, some of these parents were writing to request email consultations. (Names have been changed.)

Clive's teacher has suggested he is gifted. What does "gifted" mean and what should I do about it? Should we have him assessed for giftedness? If so, when is the best time?

I am writing to you to see if you can assist my daughter in her future career choices. I wrote to you a couple of years ago and you helped me with my son. He is doing very well at Uni doing Business Management and majoring in business law. Now it's my daughter's turn.

Can you help with our son Malcolm. He's unhappy and says he doesn't have any friends, or anyone who "thinks" like him. And we're having to break in a new teacher (again). He's in a big-ish mixed grade class and sits at a communal table with 4 or 5 other kids, which is pretty distracting for him. His feeling of difference is re-enforced by being pressured to conform to what seems to be a narrow view of what constitutes "normal" kids.

Traditional parenting techniques don't seem to work with our gifted boy. We need other strategies.

We are not looking to change our daughter but to find a way in which we can effectively communicate with her that alleviates the wild emotional swings that we currently experience.

I am writing because we have a 5 & 1/2 year old son who has been assessed as an emotionally intense gifted child (99%+). We are having a lot of problems with managing his behaviour to the extent that I am becoming more worried about the effect he is having on my wife than I am about his development although this is also a concern. My child wants to talk about death and dying. I find this distressing and want some help to deal with it.

I have been advised to hold my gifted child back a grade because of emotional immaturity. I am not sure that this is the right thing to do.

My preschool child is very sensitive and this is causing problems. He puts his hands over his ears and screams when I am vacuuming. He won't go into the supermarket and we had to leave the movies because he said that the sound hurt his ears. I need strategies to manage this.

I have been having problems with my now 22yr old son. I had problems when he was younger and also recently with my 15 year old daughter. My niece who is 24 years now has been her parents' problem child too. I had read in several websites about gifted kids characteristics and these seem to fit. How can they be tested?

We are consulting you from curiosity. We know our children are gifted and we desire to create as many opportunities for them as possible and to focus on their strengths.

I would like to know if Harriet is gifted or just a bright child. I feel that she picks up things very quickly and I would like her to be more stimulated than she has been at school. I would like some proof to present to the school to encourage them to pursue extended work for her.

Paul has had a lot of trouble settling into school. We feel he is gifted and lacking challenge, however his school assessments have failed to confirm this. We are investigating the possibility that his IQ tests may not be a true measure of his ability because his intelligence is tied up in his creativity and so is not well measured by the standard tests.

Our son has been assessed as highly gifted. Recently he has become withdrawn and is very angry at school. We would like your opinion as we think he may be clinically depressed.

We are concerned about Imogen as she is still unhappy at school despite a change. We are worried about her being depressed and anxious.

Mum wishes son to have a greater understanding of self.

Brett has been assessed as a high potential learner. We would like more information as he can be highly emotional and has negative talk at times. We are unsure how to cope as parents and want Brett to be happy and reach his full potential.

We would like an explanation of Stewart's IQ assessment and information on potential problems that may be associated with high intelligence.

Our child has been identified as highly gifted. We are consulting you for confirmation, reassurance and validation.

We want to discuss concerns regarding apparent stress/anxiety and decision regarding educational placement for next year.

Chloe is an extremely sensitive child. She was assessed at 7 but her sensitivity to expectation compromised her performance. She often experiences very deep emotional turmoil and I would like her to learn to understand herself.

We live in rural Victoria and have 3 gifted girls. We have limited resources so cannot come in person. Can you send information by email to help us work out exactly where our children are at.

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Most of these concerns can be alleviated in one or two consultations. However, parents then decide to use me as a resource person for the length of their children's schooling. It is not unusual for me to provide information and support to all the members of a family.

Of course, getting to know me when they are young and in the company of their parents, makes it easier for gifted children to talk to me about their concerns as they are growing up.